Do You Give a Baby Shower for a Second Child With Another Dad
Tin You Accept a Baby Shower for Your Second—or Tertiary, or Fourth—Child?
The brusk respond is aye, but you may need to accommodate your expectations.
Marking the impending nascency of your starting time child with your friends and family unit is an expected rite of passage, merely the etiquette for hosting another fête for future babies tin become a little murky. "Traditionally, baby showers were for first-time parents who were getting started and needed everything from diapers to draperies for their newborn," says etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, the founder of The Protocol School of Texas. "Second, third, and fourth babies make the decision more hard, because many people have an abundance of things and demand very little. However, much like birthdays and other special events, it'southward a great reason to celebrate." If yous exercise choose to honour your piddling one'due south niggling siblings—regardless of when they go far—follow a few unproblematic etiquette guidelines when planning your political party.
Stick to some hard-and-fast etiquette rules.
Some etiquette standards hold fast whether it's your outset shower or your fifth. "A babe shower should not be hosted by the parents or immediate family, such as mom or mom-in-law," says Gottsman. "Friends and siblings tin join in to host a shower, and certainly anyone can financially contribute." Etiquette also allows the host to include any requests from the parents-to-be, whether it'south a bar full of creative mocktails for the pregnant mother, a ban on Babe Bingo, or a private gift opening session. "The guest of honour does not have to open all of the gifts in front of the guests," she adds. "Yous tin opt to open them after and only relish the party."
Consider a different blazon of celebration.
While good etiquette doesn't prevent yous from having a second, 3rd, or 4th shower, you may opt to tweak some of your plans if yous've recently had your first baby—especially the gift-giving obligation. "For a celebration for a second or tertiary or fourth baby, y'all might want to include only shut family, call it a celebration rather than a shower, and make it articulate you are inviting them to gloat," notes Gottsman. Include a note with the invitation that requests no gifts, and if anyone ignores it, put the gifts out of sight immediately to preclude bad-mannered moments with the other attendees. Instead of a ladies' brunch or girls-just soirée, design a low-central, family unit-friendly commemoration for before—or after—the baby arrives: Take the kids decorate bibs or onesies for their new sibling or cousin, requite aunts and uncles a take chances to write letters for the baby to read on his 18th birthday, set up a photo background to create a volume of photos for the piddling one to await back on. "I recommend you curtail the guest listing and, if you're on your third or 4th child, I really hesitate to encourage another shower," she continues. "A luncheon to honor mom or a barbecue in one case the baby is built-in feels dissimilar than a shower."
Adjust your expectations.
In some cases, a later on shower makes sense: For a couple with three boys who find themselves about to welcome a baby daughter; for a pair welcoming their starting time child together, even if one (or both) parents accept children from a previous relationship; or for a family celebrating a surprise pregnancy a decade afterwards they gave away all their baby gear. But even then, acquaintances who sent blankets and bibs the first fourth dimension around may opt not to attend. "Subsequently you lot are on your own raising children for years, big ticket items are indulgences and things yous should exist able to afford," explains Gottsman. "Unless a group of people want to happily gather together to become y'all something special, that fancy stroller is up to you!"
If you'd similar to celebrate your new niece or godchild by hosting a shower, but you're worried about the reaction from the invitees, ask around, she says—starting with the baby's parents. "The bottom line is to know your audience. For those who are opposed to showers later on the first baby, calling it a sip and see or a sprinkle is not going to sugarcoat it. There will be others who volition have no problem with showers for second and 3rd babies," Gottsman says. "Experience free to ask questions among friends and meet if it's something that people would exist interested in doing—both as a host or as the guest of laurels."
Source: https://www.marthastewart.com/8050739/second-baby-shower-etiquette
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